The Interrogation

The Interrogation

Out in the dark,

Behind enemy lines,

Foraging for food,

Barren, lifeless, and cold

The signs of defeat flash round,

Step out into open space,

The enemy force,

Bound and gagged,

Sitting in the stress position,

Remember to be the grey man,

The interrogation begins,

Name, rank and number!

Name, rank and number!

Name, rank and number!

Sizing up the quizmaster,

I make my escape,

The interrogation reaches its end,

Beaten and hopeful I pleased my captors,

We wait...

Explanation

This one uses the analogy of a soldier captured behind enemy lines and interrogated after being tortured to express the feelings of having to go for an "assessment" with a mental health professional (e.g. a psychology appointment), especially where the person who is having something like anxiety or depression (anything I write that involves mental health is more neurosis, than psychosis) has been here many times before and knows the drill, but has to go through it because it's what's done.

Out in the dark,
Behind enemy lines,

This represents the sense of succumbing to the illness. It's a dark, lonely place and not where any one wants to be.

Foraging for food,
Barren, lifeless, and cold,

The soldier would be searching for food, but finding nothing and getting really concerned at the lack of available nourishment. This matches the idea that the person suffering from ill health might already be trying to seek some avenues of help, but not really finding anything and becoming even more desperate. Trying to navigate ones way through a complex health service when ill is incredibly difficult and demoralising.

The signs of defeat flash round, 
Step out into open ground,

The signs of defeat in the soldiers case are the realisation that he is going to have to give himself up, because although he may be treated badly, there may also be the opportunity for food, water, warmth. To do this, he must step out onto open ground, in full view of the hunter force. In the case of the "sufferer", it's realising that more intensive help is now required and you have to make that oh so difficult walk along to the Dr's/health centre/emergency room and say those horrible words of "I need help" which feel like defeat is being admitted. The "flash around" part in the case of the soldier is the torches/gun lasers being projected onto him. In the case of the patient's, it's probably more like flashbacks to the previous experience of illness.

The enemy force,
Bound and gagged

This refers to the capture taking place. The soldier is bound and gagged, the patient feels trapped, and in this case, the mouth gagged refers to the horrible sensation of a tight throat due to nerves.

Sitting in the stress position,
Remember to be the grey man,

Sitting in the stress position, is of course in the soldier's case being held in the stress position, which is a method used in torture which leads to intense muscular pain. For the patient, it is the Dr's/health centre's waiting room, which are usually pretty depressing places! Being the grey man....for the military scenario, it is a tip often given to special forces soldiers in the event they're captured, which is basically not to draw attention to themselves, by being neither too quiet or too raucous. For the patient, it's basically keeping yourself to yourself, especially if there are several people in the waiting room. Ultimately, none of them wants to be there and doesn't want to be the one to make it obvious they're the one who's gone over to the dark side.

The interrogation begins,
Name, rank and number!

So, the interrogation begins! Under the Geneva convention for the treatment of prisoners of war, a prisoner is only required to give his/her name, rank and number. This could be repeated many times over, especially as the captured may choose to say nothing. In the case of the patient, it refers to the barrage of questions which he/she has been asked many times and the situation is all too familiar. It's not that they don't appreciate and understand that this is what needs to be done, but there's only so many times someone can be asked "and are you feeling suicidal at the moment" before thinking "Well no, but having to answer this question 50 times kinda doesn't help with the feelings of not wanting to!"

Name, rank and number!
Name, rank and number!

The same old same old questions continue. Maybe a CD could be given to them before hand which began with "Hi there Mr/Mrs practitioner......So I know what questions you're gonna ask me already....here are the answers you need. I've gone to make a cup of tea and will be back in an hour." Just a thought.

Sizing up the quizmaster,
I make my escape,

This is where the patient will also be assessing the mental health professional who's asking the questions. Do they seem to get me? Are there misinterpreting things? Do they seem to be making an effort? Are they in the right job?. The "making escape" part actually isn't about escaping from the session or anything like that but in case, the patient using avoidance techniques to steer clear, or skirt around the edges of the very sensitive topics, which although need to be dealt with, are often very hard to talk about. So, things like changing the subject, asking about their family (that one works wonders!) are all techniques. Best to avoid doing that.

The interrogation reaches its end,
Beaten and hopeful I pleased my captors,

So, the interrogation is over. It's been challenging, upsetting. There is a sense though of "I hope this person has got it, because it feels like my chance to be content in life, lies in a large part with how they do their write up".

We wait...

And that's all the patient can do really. Wait, hope, try to keep treading water.