London

London

The smell of primrose in my nose,

I glance upon this scene,

The cranes and domes they fill my sight,

This city full of green,

The blue bridge in the middle shows,

The twinkly lights rotate,

As bearskins march right up and down,

Stand neatly at their gate,

Do we head North or is it South?,

Just wait I need to check,

But not for long, a job made swift,

It’s easy thanks to Beck,

The cricket in the evening times,

It’s sixty-eight for four,

So take a bow, it’s time to rest,

And hear the Southbank’s roar,

The bridges breath goes up and down,

The tourists shall flock in,

As glass emerges high above,

The old reflected in,

A rainbow of eleven shades,

The quickest way to see,

This awe inspiring city,

One that gives us so much glee.

Christmas 2014

Christmas 2014

The shop lights are turned off

The streets quieten down

It’s now time for Santa

To visit your town

The movies have started

There’s carols to sing

And then comes the morning

With presents to bring

The nibbles are scattered

The liquid flows too

And hopefully we’ll share

A giggle or two

A stroll in the sunshine

The crisp winter’s air

Remember to tell them

How much that you care

So Christmas is here

And I wish you good cheer

I guess we’ll all do it

The same time next year

Who are you

Who are you?

When we are old and oh so grey,

Hope you’ll look back with me,

To tell me I was a good man,

With me felt good to be,

I hope you will recount the times,

That I stood up for you,

And made you laugh during the times,

When you were feeling blue,

It is my aim before I go,

That you would say to me,

I gave you all you needed to,

Fly high and feel free,

If when we're sat all wrinkled up,

Still holding your hand tight,

You let me know your life was good,

I’ll be proud I did right,

Right now I am just thirty-two,

To me you’re still unknown,

But hope you know I’ll cherish you,

This magic that we own.

Snowkids

Snowkids

They drop into this world

Uniquely as can be

Each one a single work of art

Just look and you shall see

The joy they bring all walks of life

And lighten up the air

Some ones drop out as single ones

Or more, such as a pair

Of course they’re not for everyone

And that is OK too

Cos if you like, you can go make

A snowman that’s in lieu

So know this poem is about

How snowflakes are like kids

They’re both as grand and complex as

The ancient Pyramids.

Explanation

Someone asked me to write a poem about the similarities between snowflakes and kids. Hey I dunno, blame the internet! If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

Falling

Falling

Come close to me,

And feel my heart,

You were the one,

Right from the start,

I look in deep,

Into your eyes,

When I’m with you,

So many highs,

My fingers in,

Your pretty hair,

I hope you know,

How much I care,

I’ve fallen hard,

For you that’s clear,

So proud to say,

You are my dear.

Heatwave

Heatwave 

An Azores high

Or a Spanish plume

The heat moves in

A heat wave does loom

The hot sticky nights

The duvet comes off

The pollen goes up

And starts does a cough

We’ve waited for this

Yay summer is here

Well actually no

Want cool to be near

See I’m goldilocks

Need 20 degrees

Above or below

Too hot or I freeze

But when it is gone

And autumn comes in

I sure will be waiting

‘Til summer begins

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

MH17

MH17

Sitting up high,

And admiring the view,

There aren’t any borders,

Just a beautiful blue,

An inflight movie,

The kids play some games,

The seatbelt sign off,

The pilot exclaims,

So minding your business,

Now seven miles above,

The missile has hit you,

Took from ones you love,

Last moments with just fear,

Not something you deserve,

Your precious life is ending,

It’s something you’ll observe,

And as we know you tumbled,

And sank into this earth,

We’ll make sure to remember you,

And won’t forget your worth,

We’re so sad that you suffered,

And couldn’t say goodbye,

We’ll send you off with pride and grace,

Our hearts you’re still close-by.

Keep the hope

Keep the hope

A lot’s going on in the world right now

That’s leaving us pausing and asking just how

Why we are so cruel and destructive right here

And that thought keeps leaving me shedding a tear

There’s rape and there’s war and there’s hurt and there’s fear

The news rarely leaves us feeling much to cheer

The hope feels just pointless, accept we’re all bad?

Well no I don’t see that, for much to be glad

Cos I see a world where yes there’s some hate

But goodness in droves, just look, we are great

Donations and gifts little things we don’t see

I know that they’re out there, from that I take glee

Remember Love Actually, that quote from Hugh Grant

Love is all around! I think we should chant

So don’t lose the hope, we will make this right

Compassion together will make this world bright.

Kitchen White Goods

Kitchen White Goods

There are some quite odd folk around

Who’ll send me random themes

But let me see what I can write

From fingers words shall stream

A poem about kitchen goods

Those ones are classed as white

I fear my bid to do this well

May end up being shite

For me the freezer is the best

Can store my microchips

Tomato ketchup in my view

The best of all the dips

One thing that tends to bug me lots

That shop known as Selfridges

I just don’t understand at all

Why they do not sell fridges

So wash and dry put clean clothes on

So you don’t smell of sweat

To me becoming normal

Isn’t something that I threat.

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

The World Cup

The World Cup

Brazil in the year

Two thousand fourteen

It’s touchdown in Rio

For many great teams

There have been so many

Quite glorious saves

Along with a number of 

Mexican waves

The football amazing

So many great goals

And caused by that Suarez

In skin there were holes

And awesome fab players

Like Messi and Neymar

But ones like Tim Howard

Who weren’t on our radar

On Sunday the final

We shall learn who’s best

Well done to Brazil

You’ve sure passed the test

Lions

Lions

If you are on lithium

Then Lion you are

I like science jokes

Be brave like a star

They prowl the savannah

Find tea for their cubs

The name of a lion

Found in many pubs

A fair lonesome creature

Not found making friends

Unless you shall go

To the zoo, tigers blend

Some zoos are quite plenty

Just see what you’ll spy

There’s lions and tigers

And bears, well oh my

So Charli, your poem

‘Bout lions it is

And reference to Dorothy

That wind it did whiz

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

Wimbledon

Wimbledon

So JazzyChick on Twitter, she has challenged me

A poem ‘bout Wimbledon, she has asked to see

She made the suggestion, to try a few rhymes

With the players names, it’s hard, near bedtimes

The winner today, Novak Djokovic

Near two million pounds, he’s better off, rich

On Saturday we saw, the winner Kvitova

Who did play in style, the net she hit over

And poor Andy Murray, knocked out far too soon

Nadal, number two, over him women swoon

The All England Club, is a highlight for tennis

For I prefer running, so I’ll watch Miss Ennis

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

D-Day

D-Day

They shall grow not old, 

For if they are frail,

They gave up their lives

The day they set sail

As we that are left grow old,

To you we salute you,

The bravery back then,

Now shown by so few,

Age shall not weary them,

Emotions still raw,

The freedom to be,

Walk safe out the door,

Nor the years condemn,

Remember bad acts,

The sacrifice given,

The horror and facts,

At the going down of the sun, 

Remember our friends,

The courage they showed,

Our thanks never ends,

And in the morning,

Each day when we wake,

For battles they won, 

We have and eat cake,

We will remember them,

At all times that we can,

Thank you for your service,

I am a free man.

Dear Future Wife

Dear Future Wife

Lay right down beside me,

And tell me your woes,

Together my love,

We shall beat your foes,

We’ll grow old together,

You’re part of my soul,

Heart still skips a beat,

And together we’re whole,

You know that I love you,

The same as I did,

Back all of those years,

When we were just kids,

All cute on the sofa,

I feel your chest rise,

The flicker of angels,

I see in your eyes,

To me you are perfect,

In spite of your flaws,

In love with you baby,

So kiss gaze and pause.

Charli's left big toe

Charli's left big toe

It’s Friday night people,

We’re out on the town,

Well some of us inside,

Behave like a clown,

And one of those people,

Is called CharliBob,

She’s had too much wine,

And become quite a knob,

She’s set me a challenge,

To write her some lines,

Her big toe the topic,

The left one defined,

We know that it’s painted,

And pink is the shade,

From status of robot,

I know she has strayed,

And now she is dancing,

She’s simply the best,

Controls all the men,

With her lovely chest.

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

Snooker

Snooker

The green baize’s awaiting,

All neatly laid out,

Rob Walker announces,

The crowd starts to shout,

The twenty two balls,

All set to be played,

I wonder how big,

The breaks will be made,

And JV has told us,

There’s always a gap,

So careful now Ronnie,

It just needs a tap,

He’s high on the blue,

Goes into the pack,

And gets a nice split,

Soon back to the black,

The whispers of Dennis,

I like him the best,

The next shot’s a tough one,

He will need the rest,

This sport is my favourite,

It brings me much joy,

With Hazel, the boys,

Settle down and enjoy.

Kittens

Kittens

Producing lots of ooh’s and aah’s,

They really are so sweet,

The kittens of the internet,

For us they are a treat,

To have your own and see them play,

It’s really very nice,

But not so much when they bring you,

Some manky dead old mice,

I don’t know what they’re feeding you,

It’s probably not your fault,

You’ll always be a smelly cat,

But less so when you malt,

They’ll give you so much love and joy,

And ask for little back,

Except first thing when morning comes,

They need their stroke and snack,

These tiny cats that are so cute,

And usually really daft,

Cos kittens I will always love,

For many times I’ve laughed.

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

International Space Station

International Space Station

To gaze up high into night skies

Wait for the dot to fill my eyes

I’ve checked online to know the time

And look out west, begins its climb

Perched neatly by the window up

Two thirty miles it’s that close-up

I wave at them do they wave too?

In 90 mins again they’re due

What’s going on up there right now?

I’m sure it starts with the word “Wow”

This small bright light in the night sky

‘Til next time guys I shall say bye

Explanation

If you ever watch the International Space Station go over your house, you'll (hopefully) relate to this poem.

Xylophones

Xylophones

This guy called David Angell,

He came to challenge me,

A poem about xylophones,

From me he wants to see,

It’s quite a funny sounding word,

Big scrabble points be found,

And did you know it comes from Greek,

The words mean wooden sound,

They’re known for being played so well,

Sir Patrick Moore was right,

To make sure he did play it lots,

When not on sky at night,

This is a quirky instrument,

And plays a funky tune,

Do hope this poem pleases you,

I feel like quite a loon.

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

Cream cakes

Cream cakes

I think that it’s time,

To have an affair,

For that I shall choose

This chocolate eclair,

A white sticky cream,

In front of my eyes,

This long day I’ve had,

Sure likes this surprise,

It’s best when it’s sweet,

And is oh so gooey,

It melts in the mouth,

It’s not at all chewy,

This cute little snack,

It hits the right spot,

Though must brush my teeth,

Don’t want them to rot,

I have a sweet tooth,

That is clear to see,

Gives thanks to this cake,

My stomach’s in glee.

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

Dreaming of love

Dreaming of love

To sit in close our eyes are locked,

A moment in this chair,

And I’m so glad that I am with you,

This closeness that we share,

To write a little note to you,

And place it in your coat,

So when you read it there’s no doubt,

On you I sure do dote,

You text me when you’re feeling sad,

You know I will respond,

To cheer you up and make you smile,

We have this special bond,

And when I know you’re coming round,

Can’t wait to hold your hand,

I tell you in my Yorkshire voice,

You’re looking rather grand,

I hope that I’ll grow old with you,

And share a lot of things,

To say our vows a special day,

The giving of the rings.

The beautiful game

The beautiful game

There’s ninety full minutes,

Plus some extra time,

And twenty two players,

Ball-skills some sublime,

To chase that round thing,

The length of the pitch,

For those who do well,

Become rather rich,

The ball in the box,

Swinged so swiftly in,

But was it off-side?,

Will it be a win?,

Defence and attack,

Down left and right wing,

To come silverware,

This season shall bring,

The cheering and shouting,

The passion so clear,

This all comes around,

From one little sphere.

It's not fair

It's not fair

To be there now and look into,

Those awe inspiring eyes,

You message me a flutter does,

Rise up now feel my sighs,

I think of you and realise that,

You’re always on my mind,

Across my heart there is a space,

For your name to be signed,

Could I be brave and tell you now,

Would that earn me this prize,

I doubt I could for all of these,

What if’s, what could’s and whys,

To brush your lovely hair behind,

Those pretty little ears,

I’m sad to feel that I’ll not have,

All of that due to fears.

Meerkats

Meerkats

It is meerkats we call them by,

To some it’s Suricata,

But does that change how cute they are,

Well no that does not matter,

To view a lot of pics of them,

For smiles they will induce,

But don’t go introducing them,

To creatures named mongoose,

I like the way they stand up there,

Look cute with all their dimples,

To hang out with your mates all day,

To me that sounds quite simples,

To those that go confusing them,

Looking for cheap insurance,

It is meerkat not market there,

You’re really quite a sure dunce,

I like meerkats that’s plain to see,

They make me smile and laugh,

To all the great meerkats out there,

This poem's on your behalf.

Twins

Twins

They come to us right as a pair,

Best friends right from the start,

To make this thing that’s oh so special,

It’s nature’s work of art,

All kinds of theories are out there,

About their special gifts,

I wonder if inside the womb,

They sometimes have a tiff,

They come to us all shapes and size,

Sometimes a girl or boy,

That film that stars ol’ Dan and Arnie,

All bring a lot of joy,

I wonder if they think the same,

Or if that’s just a tale,

If someone said to pick my fave,

I’d happily go fail,

These twins are this earth’s gift to me,

I don’t know what to say,

Except to say that I shall love them,

Until my dying day.

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

Skulduggery

Skulduggery

It’s one of those words,

That we all like to say,

Discombobulated though,

That’s my favourite to say,

Skulduggery’s a good one,

With one “L” or two,

It’s quite underhand,

And a bit like a coup,

Reminds me of pirates,

To give them a score,

No that’s to rate pi,

Grade three point one four,

No these are the pirates,

That reign the great seas,

A bit like Jack Sparrow,

For treasure he’ll seize,

Yeah I like this word,

It’s cool to pronounce,

I’ll say it more often,

I hereby announce.

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

Cheese

Cheese

So here is a challenge,

It’s kind of made backwards,

But this is a poem,

So stanzas not chapters,

Don’t eat it too late,

Or your dreams will be bad,

But gooey on pizza,

Well this makes us glad,

There’s hard and there’s soft,

So give thanks to the cows,

Just so many choices,

For us now to browse,

It’s good for the puns,

So let’s have a stab,

Think you can do feta,

Cos cheese is so fab,

And think very caerphilly,

Of what this could brie,

I cheddar to think,

Of this poem set free.

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

For my friend, Sarah

For my friend, Sarah

Her name is Sarah Linney,

She is one of the greats,

It seems that most of Twitter,

Thinks we go out on dates,

And maps are not her strong point,

She’s prone to getting lost,

All of those hats she's purchased,

Just how much have they cost,

She is extremely funny,

Her insults are renowned,

One of my nicest dearest friends,

She is hereby now crowned,

Just make sure you be careful,

If atoms are nearby,

She has been known to put tinfoil,

In microwaves, oh my!

But fabulous she really is,

She just is not aware,

Of all the people in the world,

For her they really care.

Charli's Birthday

Charli's Birthday

Today is Charli’s birthday,
She’s 30 grand years old,
“You are a lovely lady”,
I’m sure she will be told,

Then later she is going,
To boogie right on down,
I think for her that it will be,
A night out on the town,

I'm sure that there’ll be wine on tap,
A few words will be slurred,
Cos booze is an organic compound, 
She knows that she’s a nerd,

There will be lots of cards and gifts,
To make some beaming smiles,
But now she is a right old dear,
It’s mostly time for piles,

Enjoy your day and smile lots,
And have a proper giggle,
In that “lip dress” I’m sure there’ll be.
A good chance of a wiggle.

A very special lady

A very special lady

Her name is Rosemary,

But you may call her Rose,

She’s cared for me for all my life,

My head down to my toes,

She has that kind of smile,

That lightens up a room,

And has a very special gift,

To lift me out of gloom,

There’s been a lot of times before,

I’ve made her very stressed,

But how she has I do not know,

Remained the very best,

Her quips online are famous so,

A bunch of fans are hers,

But don’t doubt for a minute there,

Her love is shown through slurs,

This true gem of a woman,

From whom I did so come,

And I’m so glad I get to call her,

By that great name of “Mum”.

Chicken

Chicken

For some it’s finger lickin’ good, 

And tastes nice with some chips, 

The Colonel’s secret recipe, 

Feels spicy on my lips, 

For most it is a Sunday treat, 

As roasting suits it best, 

Cos after chopping all those sprouts, 

I think you’ve earned that rest, 

It’s good to eat in Walkers crisps, 

That yummy crunchy taste, 

But don’t eat all those bags at once, 

It’s not good for your waist, 

And sometimes it’s not just a food 

For insults it can be, 

But as I dared to write this poem, 

I am not one you see.

Explanation

This is another case of someone challenging me to write a poem. Blame the internet. If you want to suggest any to me, just tweet me @philverney.

Scrambled Eggs

Scrambled Eggs

Boiled and poached and scrambled and fried,

Are there some types that you have not tried?

Soldiers with butter, dipped in the yolk,

After the tap the shell you have broke,

Fluffy and yellow and ready to eat,

Topped with some bacon a real nice treat,

We all have our favourites, so let’s take a poll,

To finish this poem well that is my goal,

The scrambled are winners, I must tell you that,

But make them too salty and they shall be spat,

So now at the end we cheer our best dish,

Let’s scramble those eggs dear, this poem’s your wish.

Explanation

I feel I need to write a short explanation for this one, in case you all fear I've gone completely mad. Basically, I was challenged to write a poem about scrambled eggs. I like a challenge, so I did!

Dreams

Dreams

Each and every single night,

Before we go to bed,

The neurons in our little heads,

Jump up and start to spread,

This special troop of little gems,

Tonight they’ll run the show,

For what we really want in life,

The seeds begin to sew,

The visions in these little dreams,

We're not always quite sure,

But hold on tight to something nice

You know there will be more,

For sometimes they are naughty,

And sometimes they are nice,

I hope for you tonight’s will have,

That extra bit of spice.

PhilTube

PhilTube

Descending right down into this great lair,

It's really a shame so much I do care,

The yellow and green in front of my eyes,

The storm in my body brews up and does rise,

Westminster, Embankment to Temple, Blackfriars,

I must remember my mind's just a liar,

The House and the Street and the great Monument,

It's time to go searching, anxiety we hunt,

The tingling, the shaking to just catch one's breathe

Remind myself here that I do not face death,

Just sit it out breathe and let the fear pass,

The person you want reflects in the glass,

It comes to a slow and the station does show,

Be proud of yourself you continue to grow.

Enter Caixaman

Enter Caixaman

Here we are now at upper taxi road,
Adrenaline released and my does she flow,

It's time to go stroll down this old grand Spur,

As my mind and body go into a blur,

Turning left at this white chalk board,

We schedule our beats and bow to our Lord,

Unzip Rockin' Rose comes out of her case,

We pick up the tempo a new funky pace

The orchid's beauty continues to bloom,

As music and laughter they do fill this room.

Love Actually

Love Actually

On ITV,

I shall go check,

So just in cases, 

Ant or Dec,

There's many angles,

To this great flick,

From both sides now,

Best scene just can't pick,

I see those cards, 

My heart does throb,

It's Colin Frissell,

With his big knob,

If ever you feel,

All stuck in a rutt,

Remember there's always,

Beckham's left foot,

So come my dear,

And sit with me,

All of those pictures,

They're all of me.

This film is special,

The rest it's above

The truth is actually

I'm in love.