Exposure

Exposure

Well today we go play Russian roulette folks,

For fear we're about to seek and provoke,

Feels like today tomorrow and probably the next,

Six chambers are loaded, BUT determination 's flexed,

Walking opened eyed right into the lion's den,

I know that I must do this again and again,

Upon the horizon the clouds they do build,

With darkness and thunder they clearly are filled,

The drum beats do quicken, they get louder too,

But screw you anxiety, no seriously, screw you!,

The world spins round like I'll fall to the ground,

But must have the confidence that I shall not drown,

The beast of tightness comes and smothers 'round my throat,

For this to stop now, please, I hereby do vote,

Through all of this I know I must last,

Because this is what I choose, a new me I shall cast.

Explanation

I'm not going to say too much about this, except to say I'm currently undergoing "exposure therapy" for a particular anxiety issue. I believe tackling it will be extremely challenging (well I know it is), but I also believe it will make me a better and in the long run, a happier person (yes I know that's hard to believe..."Better?! But Phil, you're already the best!"). There is lots to do to where I want to get to....and the above is what it feels like to me, both in terms of how unbelievably horribly horrifically terrifyingly difficult it feels -- but also how much determination I must have to get to a better place. To quote Churchill, "Oh no no no no no".....wait, wrong Churchill. I mean this one. "If you're going through hell, keep going".